The in-laws' night out
by Chiq
Summary: Set after Confaegion (3x03). Kenzi tells Bo that Lauren has to postpone their date, because the doctor has 'another hot date'.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**:I do not own Lost Girl or any of the show's characters.

Set after Confaegion (3x03). Comments and feedback most welcome.

* * *

It had been a long day and Bo was in the middle of a hot, hot bath. She closed her eyes, her thoughts drifting to where she and Lauren were going for dinner later, what they were going to do afterwards, and how she was going to rip the clothes off –

"BoBo!"

And now her shower curtains were ripped apart and she was naked in front of her best friend.

"Yo!" Kenzi fired on before Bo had a chance to respond. "Doctah Hotpants says she has to take a raincheck for tonight. Something about having another hot date."

"What?" Bo asked. "She really told you that? Why didn't she call me herself?"

"What am I, Dr Phil? Sort out your own succulationship problems, jeez."

"Oh I will," Bo huffed. "In the meantime, wanna order a pizza?"

"Nope. Have plans. Going now. Seeya." Kenzi walked off as Bo yelled 'who is iiiiiiit' behind her. As she stepped out of the clubhouse, she heard a deep-throat rumbling of a bike and turned her head to the sound. She saw it coming up to her and stepped back, feeling wary.

"Hey babe," the driver said as she took off her helmet and shook her hair loose. "Need a ride?"

"Holy Hotpants!" Kenzi exclaimed, her jaw opened two inches wide. "Since when did you own a wild beast like this? Does BoBo know about your mistress?"

"Hmm," Lauren smiled. "Funny, and no, Bo doesn't."

"Why not? I'm sure this would have fulfilled many, many fanta– "

"She didn't ask," the doctor interrupted in a hurry and handed Kenzi a helmet. "Let's go. Did you tell Bo about tonight?"

"Yup, I said you had to postpone because you had lab stuff, just like you told me to."

It was probably good for Kenzi that all the succubus saw when she got to the door, half-soaked and in a bath robe, was her best friend riding off on a motorcycle, hands in the air.

* * *

"First stop, pizza parlor," Kenzi said as she hopped off the bike. "Did you repeat that it's extra-extra cheese and pepperoni?"

"Yes," Lauren replied as she rolled her eyes. "In fact, I was tempted to ask them to forgo the pie and just give us a stick of pepperoni and a wheel of cheese."

"Don't be silly. You need the carbs to absorb all the alcohol, or you're gonna end up waking up half naked and cuddled up with your best friend on the couch," Kenzi said as she held out her hand.

"…No. It's coming out of yours," the doctor deadpanned.

"Oh come on! Please, pretty doctor? You should know that a poor girl like me who lives in a crackshack needs every penny that she can save," Kenzi whined.

"You get to wake up half naked, cuddled up with my girlfriend in said shack. I have no sympathy for you."

Kenzi knew she'd lost and went to collect the pizza, muttering something about it being the last time she saved that ingrate from stupid pigs and how she should have kept the staff so she could whack her stupid hot pants off the stupid hot bike.

Ten minutes later, the bike stopped in front of a liquor store.

"Here's for the drinks," Lauren said as she handed Kenzi a few bills. "Tell me more funny stories about Bo, and I'll reimburse you for the pizza later."

"Boy, you drive a really hard bargain," Kenzi started before a leather-gloved hand reached for the money. "I mean, gotcha, doctah!"

After ten minutes of trying to catch the man's attention behind the counter, Kenzi knew she was being ignored.

"Hello? Someone wants to put money in your pocket," she said. "Wanna get your head out of the paper?"

"We don't serve your kind here," a gruff voice answered. "Now get out before you dirty up my property some more."

Kenzi was shocked. She'd received sneers and insults about being human before, but Bo, Dyson or Hale had always been there to defend her. She reacted in the only way that she knew.

"Oh really? How about you make me, you big fat fae?" she challenged. "Or is your head too filled with ignorance and fat that you can't move?"

The fae snarled and got up, hands raised. "Why you little – "

"What's going on?" The doctor asked as she rushed in, holding her helmet.

"Oh nothing, just some faeneck trash throwing his big fat weight around!" Kenzi yelled to the doctor as she ran and dodged the fae.

Lauren knew what had happened immediately. Grabbing a few bottles of champagne, she yelled for Kenzi to run as she kicked a wine tower display to the floor, blocking the fae's way.

"Hang tight!" she yelled as she handed the bottles to Kenzi, hopped on to the bike and sped off.

Later, when Dyson and Tamsin went to check out the 'crime scene', they would find out that the two humans' laughter was heard three blocks away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**:I do not own Lost Girl or any of the show's characters.

Set after Confaegion (3x03). Comments and feedback most welcome.

* * *

It was dusk when Lauren and Kenzi reached the hilltop.

"Phew, this where we stoppin'?" Kenzi asked as she climbed off, but noticed that she didn't need an answer. She stood still, mesmerized as Lauren hopped off the bike with the ease and grace of a panther.

"Kenzi!" the doctor called. "Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself in the store?"

"Yup!" Kenzi snapped out from her daze. "I mean, nope! Never better!"

"Just always figured you for a Siamese cat and not a super sleek panther," the girl muttered as she retrieved their dinner from the bike.

When she walked to where Lauren was, she saw that the doctor had placed a picnic blanket on the grass. This time, instead of making a snarky comment about the doctor's OCD habits, the girl kept her mouth shut and only rolled her eyes.

"Did you want to pop the champagne?" Lauren asked, unpacking the plastic cutlery. "I didn't expect us to get that, so we'll have to make do with these cups."

"Nah, you should do it, since you were the one who got this." Kenzi passed the bottle to the doctor.

As she watched Lauren use the corkscrew, Kenzi once again had the feeling that she was watching a smooth panther in her natural habitat.

_No wonder Bo's so whipped, gurl's got some serious game. I wonder who usually ends up on top – _

"Hey," Lauren called out as she uncorked the bottle with a 'pop'. "You sure you're okay?"

"Uh, yeah!" Kenzi replied. "Just wondering how's your hand. By the way, that was a mean right hook you delivered to Vex!"

"Hmm," Lauren smiled as she poured out the wine. "Well, it was called for."

As they toasted, Lauren saw that Kenzi's smile had faltered when she mentioned the mesmer. "You know, they say that wine is better for you than beer, but that's not true. Sometimes the tannins in red wine can trigger a histamine reaction, leading to sneezes, because – "

"Alright, alright," Kenzi interrupted. "Cool it with the science speak, will ya? I hear enough of it already in the crackshack."

"Sorry," Lauren said with a small smile and looked down. A silence fell between them as they ate. Lauren sighed softly, lamenting the loss of their easy interaction just moments ago and mentally kicking herself for worsening things instead of distracting the girl.

"Anyway, it's not like I didn't know that already," Kenzi spoke up. "I worked at a couple of bars and there would always be someone who has this huge sneezing fit after a glass of wine."

"You worked at bars before?" Lauren asked.

"Yup. When kids my age were using their fake ID to get into bars, I used mine to work in some. Girl's gotta eat, especially when you run away from home at the nubile age of 15."

"Oh," the doctor said. "I'm sorry to hear that. Family troubles?"

"Stepfather. And don't be sorry – I've never been happier in my life when I finally got away." Kenzi shrugged and pointed to her head. "Some people don't understand that parents who aren't alcoholics or wack-a-doos can still treat their kids like shit."

"Yeah," Lauren said with a smirk. "I get that."

"So," Kenzi said as she nudged Lauren with her elbow. "What about yours?"

"Mine? You mean my family?"

"Duh. Your brain had a _histamine reaction_ to the wine or something?" Kenzi mocked, using her fingers to emphasize the phrase.

"No," Lauren relented, rolling her eyes. "I haven't really spoken to anyone since I started working for the fae."

"Are you serious?" Kenzi's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Well, there was Nadia, and…" Lauren set her plate down, her appetite lost.

"I'm sorry," Kenzi apologized quietly. "For what happened to her."

"Thanks. I'm sorry about Nate too, and don't worry, Bo didn't dwell into the details."

"Yeah, well…thanks. Anyway, I'm sure you have _someone_ in your life."

"Well, apart from Bo, you're looking at it." Lauren said as she finished her wine, only looking up when she realized what she had said. "I mean – "

"Don't worry about it." Kenzi waved as she held up the champagne. "Here's to leaving the awful crap behind." She took a big gulp from the bottle and handed it to Lauren, instead of refilling the doctor's cup.

"Kenzi," Lauren protested. "Don't you think that's a little unhygienic?"

"And to family, the old and the new," Kenzi said softly as she looked away and nudged Lauren with the bottle.

Lauren smiled – and drank.

_To be continued._


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**:I do not own Lost Girl or any of the show's characters.

Set after Confaegion (3x03). Comments and feedback most welcome.

_Our favorite humans' night out comes to an end. Thanks for sticking around, and comments/feedback are most welcome. Thanks, Faedra._

* * *

Three beers and two bottles of champagne later, the humans were lying on the blanket, staring at the city beneath them.

"I'm not telling you how to live your life, but you should at least have some plan," Lauren said. "Don't you want to move out of the crackshack and live somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"Maybe I don't," Kenzi said. "I've lived in worse places, so this is considered an upgrade. Besides, why should everything go according to your standards?"

"They're not my standards," Lauren said. "You might not want to move out of the clubhouse, and maybe you really could live on pizza and beer forever, but you need back up. Connections, money, whatever it is, just in case something happens."

"What do you mean just in case?" Kenzi asked. "I'll always have Bo."

"Yes and I'm not questioning that," Lauren replied. "But you were there last week, you saw what happened to her, and it was just a parasite. What if something similar happens again, and she needs you then? What are you going to do?"

"Then I'll – I'll – I'll ask the gang for help!"

And with that, Lauren sat up.

"Kenzi, listen to me. Look at us – we're two humans living in a place where we don't belong." She pointed to the city. "I know you get along well with Dyson, Hale, Trick and Vex, but you still need to be able to depend on yourself.

"No matter how well they treat you, you'll never be one of them. Never forget that, because they won't."

"Jeez, you sound really unhappy to be here. Why don't you just leave then?" Kenzi retorted.

"Because I'm a slave!" Lauren yelled as she stood up. "Because they didn't give me a choice when they cursed Nadia! Or every time they make me save their hide while they treat me like a dog! Or lock me up in the dungeon for a slight misstep!"

"Woah, doctor," Kenzi said, alarmed. "Cool your jets. I'm not saying I won't do it, okay? Just, just calm down. Here, have a drink."

"I'm sorry," Lauren composed herself and ran her hands through her hair. "Look, you're very clever, you're resourceful, and you're strong. Bo is unaligned, which means that you have a wider range of choices, because you're not completely restricted to light or dark rules.

"I just wanted you to make the most out of this, and that you should always have some kind of back up. Just think about it, okay?"

"I will." Kenzi nodded. "And uh…you know that you can always come to us, right?"

"I know," Lauren smiled. "You can always count on me too. I may not always agree with how you handle things, but I do care."

"Yeah well, I guess it comes with the in-laws territory. You love Bo, you gotta lurrrve yours truly by extension too."

"Hmm," Lauren smirked. "We'll see. Shall we go?"

* * *

"Bo? Bobo? You home?" Kenzi called out as she walked into the clubhouse. "I guess not," she muttered as she leaned into the couch and texted the succubus.

_Where you at Bobolicious?_

_Out. Who was your hot date with the bike?_

_Nobody. Seriously, where are you now?_

_Never you mind. Won't be back tonight, so make sure you lock up xoxo_

"I guess that's that," Kenzi said as she went upstairs.

Ten minutes later, Lauren stepped into her apartment, surprised at the total darkness. As she fumbled for the light switch, she was held from behind and dragged on to a chair.

"Let me go!" She struggled as she was handcuffed to the chair. Once the lights were turned on, she gaped at her assailant.

"Bo?!"

"Hi," Bo smiled, twirling the key around her finger. "So, I heard you had a 'hot date'."

"What? From whom?"

"Doesn't matter," Bo said as she walked around the room in her trench coat. "More importantly, who was it? Was it Sarah? Or Bridget? I've caught them staring at you, and I know you have a thing for brunettes."

"Bo," Lauren said as she rolled her eyes. "Surely you know by now that I only have eyes for you, and –"

"Shhh," the succubus placed a finger on Lauren's lips. "I know, I know, but tonight, I just wanted to show you what I have to offer."

Lauren wanted to tell the succubus that it was just Kenzi, but as soon as Bo started the striptease, she decided that it could wait. She knew that she should be mad at Kenzi for lying, but she didn't know how to be mad at someone who had indirectly led her and the succubus to have one of the best nights of their lives.

* * *

A few days later, Lauren was sitting at the Dal after work, waiting for Bo. Suddenly, a drink was placed in front of her and she looked up.

"Just so you know, I paid for this, so there better not be a single drop left in that glass," Kenzi said. "Oh this is for you too."

As Kenzi walked away, Lauren opened the envelope to find an invitation card.

_Welcome to the Hotvestigator's 5__th__ anniversary. This is a pre-invitation so that you'll have enough time to prepare for your gift. Dr Hotpants is required to bring a motorcycle helmet that is tailor-made for Her Highness Kenzi. Anything less is not acceptable._

_P/s: In case of a divorce, I belong to Bo, so you better not make me have to choose._

Lauren laughs, looks up and raises her glass at the other human.

The end.


End file.
